Going to the Restroom

This may sound easy to you; however if you have children you know what I’m about to say. 7 ½ years ago my first child wasn’t walking yet, and I had very peaceful trips to the bathroom to do my business like I had been doing since a very young age. I don’t think you realize how silence and cherished alone time in the bathroom is actually valuable until you no longer have it.
Present Day:
Now when I go to the bathroom I have two kids following me either fighting, in dire need of help, or needing to ask a question that can’t wait just 2 min’s before Life as we know ends. After I make it to the potty and actually sit I see two children standing in front of me, two dogs, and two cats fast approaching to explore what is happening with the white porcelain god and why water makes such lovely sounds. Depending on number one or two the room is closing in, the cats are almost to back of the toilet about to sniff my butt, the dogs desperately what to know what the cats are up to and can they do it too, somewhere in there is my children getting closer to ask a question or yell their side of the story. Which comes to this, number two happens, it’s life. I ask for just 2min’s alone in the bathroom for this. Just two.
But as a mother we all know that goes out the window when they start walking, you no longer get silence or even get read something. Not going to happen. Cats are now two feet up on the back of the toilet seat trying to see the water and wondering if a paw can come into the water anytime soon. While the dogs are getting closer to see what the cats are getting into and then you hear things from your children that at this point doesn’t shock you. “How do you pee with that fur between your legs?” During those special days of the month you get “Are you putting that thing up your BUTT?” “Why are you wearing a diaper?” Those few cherished moments are a thing of the past and with everyone watching and adding comments of EWWW, its smells like farts in here; not one animal or child has moved their position. After someone hitting the fan and covering there noses and mouths with coughing gestures the children finally leave. Now all I have to do is yell at the dogs and they leave. Which leaves the cats, and we all know cats they own you not you own them, so with a swift toss of toilet paper out the door, the cats scamper off to catch the mysterious white thing. I buy a few seconds of peace; this is my life.