Day 1
Sunday March 9, 2008
Since this is our first deployment, not knowing what was ahead. I didn’t cry. We said our good-byes. After getting in the van and leaving for home I started to cry. I tried to hide it from the girls but just couldn’t. 15 months is a long time, and today is day 1 of 455 days to go.
Being home was even worse. I couldn’t stop crying. My eyes hurt, my heart hurts, and the thought of doing this by myself just made me want to sleep for 15 months and not wake up. All I want to do is lay on the couch and cry and sleep. However with two little girls to take care of; I can’t. So I started in the bedroom and cleaned, slowly. To me I feel like I’m moving in slow motion; it takes 5minutes just to walk to the other side of the bed. But I keep going 1 step at a time. Even tough I have put my PJ’s on to be more comfortable. My head hurts from crying so much. Very slowly as if time is standing still I finally finish cleaning the bedroom. Every ounce of my body wants to stop and sleep. Forever maybe. I keep going slowing. On to the next room, the next thought.
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